Much like the letter Gramps wrote to you after you were born, Nanna wrote me this letter so that I could never forget the amazing experience that was your birth.
February 16, 2007
My dear Ginna,
I have been thinking about my time with you and I hope it is alright if I share some of my thoughts and memories.
When you and Becca were born, I knew the greatest love a woman could ever experience, or so I thought. Being able to experience Hadley’s birth with you made me love you both at an even deeper level, and I now know another love, one that is so profound, it is difficult to describe.
When you, Mom and I shared a meal when you were in northern Minnesota this past year, you remarked, “Just think, Mom, I was once growing inside you and you were once growing inside Nonny.” That was quite a moment of reflection for me as I watched you carry your precious daughter for the past nine months. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your feelings, emotions and experiences with me. It is unbelievable to watch your daughter grow up, become a successful businesswoman, a loving wife and now an exceptional mother. You handled this pregnancy, difficulties and all, with the greatest of poise and calm. You knew what you had to do to keep your baby safe and secure until her birth sometime in the month of February. You and Nels were very well educated about what your body was experiencing, and this removed even the smallest bit of apprehension about the magic, mystery and miracle of birth. I applaud you both for taking your job so seriously.
I arrived in Boulder on Sunday afternoon and Becca and I went directly to your house where you and Nels were preparing to go to the hospital, as you were being induced the very next morning. The excitement we all felt about what was about to take place was absolutely electric! I wept. Monday morning arrived and you waited for the process to begin. Once underway, you waited patiently, reviewing with Nels how you were going to help expedite the arrival of your daughter. You had the most wonderful nurse, Jackie, with you, who made the day very special, indeed. Once the contractions began, you went to work. Your breathing was natural, easy and confident. Nels was extraordinary with his coaching and support. Becca and I just watched and marveled at you both, and of course a little solitaire was thrown in too. Sitting by your bed as you experienced the beginning of this miracle, pouring all my love out to you and your daughter was a life-altering experience. I wept. Toward the end of Monday, you had dilated to four centimeters and we felt that progress was really being made. Alas, Jackie and Dr. Jones felt that you had worked hard enough for one day and perhaps it would be better to rest, eat and try again on Tuesday. So, with a degree of disappointment, you agreed. Sleep wasn’t the best, of course, as you were continually awakened by the night nurse who kept checking on your blood pressure.
Tuesday arrived with another sense of great excitement and determination. Today was going to be the day to say “hello” to Hadley. Maya was your nurse today and she was also quite wonderful and reassuring. You were hooked up again, and once again the contractions began. You and Nels were determined to do more to help little Hadley arrive, so you walked the halls, rocked more on the ball and concentrated on the job at hand. I watched the love you shared at that moment and reflected on the love you were going to soon acknowledge, and I wept. Once again, it appeared that Tuesday wasn’t the day either. You resigned that a hot bath, dinner, and another night of sleep would be beneficial as you had been working very hard again that day. So off I went to your house and the cats for another night of prayer and gratitude.
Nels called Wednesday morning to tell me that your water had broken between 2:00 and 2:30 during the night. This was fabulous news, as we had started to think that your fervent desire to deliver Hadley rather than have a C-section was not going to come to pass. So, with renewed determination, the day began. When I arrived at the hospital, you told me that you had talked to Hadley while in the shower that morning and had told her that no matter what the delivery outcome, you promised her she would be safe and protected. I was so deeply proud of you, awed by your composure, and inspired by the motherly love you shared with your unborn daughter, and so I wept. So Wednesday progressed, once again with dear Jackie and we were grateful. Dr. Jones had told you that one way or another, your baby would be born that day. You were comfortable with any decision, but still very determined to try to do it your way. So, we walked the halls again, listened to the lullaby play as new mothers and their babies were moved to the “Mommy and Baby” wing, and you labored and worked. Labor was significantly more intense today. Your training really came into play as the contractions became more intense and uncomfortable. You hit your zone and audibly breathed you baby down into the birth canal. It was about 4:30 p.m. when you told Nels you didn’t think you could do this anymore, as it was painful and tiring. He reminded you that you had decided to give it another 45 minutes once you had reached this point. Your will was strong but so was your discomfort. Nels went to tell Jackie that perhaps it was time to speak to the anesthesiologist. So he came and administered the medication. This seemed to relax you significantly and make the work to come less intense. Suddenly, you said, “Mom the pressure is unbelievable.” When I asked you where you were feeling this pressure and you told me, I went for Jackie. She came, measured you, and said, “You are fully dilated!” I wish I could have had a camera to capture the look you both had on your faces. It was a combination of shock and wild anticipation. This was really going to happen today! Suddenly there was a flurry of activity as you got into position, saw Dr. Jones, held on to Nels and began to push. The time was 5:30. Chris, who had arrived earlier that day, and I left you alone to do your work. We couldn’t go far, however, as this was quite probably the most excitingly wonderful moment either of us could recall. We walked the halls, called Tom and Bob and Becca and Jo and Sonja, and we waited. And we wept. The hospital staff paraded in and out of your room, always leaving the door ajar so we could hear the progress of this magnificent delivery. At 6:32, Hadley was born and your first words were, “Oh, Hello!” I wept. Becca flew through the doors, ran to us as we held our collective breath awaiting her first cry. It came, loud and strong, and we all wept. It seemed forever before we could come in and meet her ourselves and hug and love our precious children, her parents. Nels brought out his camera to show us her first pictures, taken when she was only seconds old. She was spectacular! Finally it was time to come in and meet her.
She was swaddled tightly, eyes wide open, precious little mouth pursed and ready for her life in this world. The feeling I had at that moment was so profoundly spiritual and I wept. I couldn’t wait to embrace you, praise you, and welcome you to this wonderful world of motherhood. Finally you knew how very much I love you.
Ginna, thank you for sharing your journey with me. You may never know the impact it has had on me until you can share the same experience with your own daughter. We have always known God and believed in the miracle of life. Yet, once you experience the privilege of giving birth yourself, it takes on new meaning. As you examine Hadley’s eyes, ears, and every other aspect of her body and when you see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her call you “Mommy, “ and watch her grow into the beautiful and spectacular woman she will obviously become, remember I shared the same experience with you and Becca and I continue to marvel at the perfection in you both.
I love you madly with all my heart.
Mom
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