Can you find your daddy in this photo?
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
TWENTY ONE MONTHS - Craziest month yet!
WOW! So clearly I once again missed the official date. But read on - you may just forgive me after you see what this month has been like.
So today was the big day. We all work up early, had a nice leisurely breakfast, got you to school just before 8, and daddy and I drove down to Denver for our half-way ultrasound. Guess what my love..... you are going to be blessed with a BEAUTIFUL BABY SISTER! As an older sister myself, I cannot tell you how special this is. I don't have any "major" expectations that you will adore your baby sister the way I adored (and still adore) your Aunt Ba. But I have hopes that you see in her the best friend little sisters can be. I expect you to be frustrated with her, annoyed that she gets some of the attention you once got, but I also expect that my sweet and affectionate Hadley will immediately understand how your life is changed forever with the arrival of this special package. I know you will understand how precious she is, and I know you will love her with all your heart. Now you just need to help us decide on a name!
I also wanted to talk to you about what happened two weeks ago, how your father and I and millions of other people across the country helped elect the first African American president. I have never been more proud to be an American than I am today, and when you are old enough to understand the significance of this election, when years from now you ask me where I was when I found out that Barack Obama had won, I'll tell you that while there were millions of people dancing in the streets and gathered at parties (like your Aunt Sonja and Uncle Matt in Manhattan!), I was sitting on the couch next to daddy, holding hands, tears streaming down my face, the two of us alone with the cats asleep at our sides. The television showed complete and utter chaos, but we sat there quietly absorbing the moment, worried that if we blinked we'd realize it was all a mistake. I finally feel like we may have the momentum to change and fix so much of what has gone wrong — from economics to the environment, to health care and raging wars — that instead of leaving your generation with a burden almost impossible to climb, there is hope that we may in fact leave you with a world that is better than the one you were born into. I know I am not alone when I say that my vote in this election was as much for his vision as it was for you and your sister's future.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Twenty Months
So you're twenty months old. That's ALMOST TWO! Almost two. Wow. And yet you're still not really talking..... hmmmm.
You're very communicative though. Daddy and I know pretty much what you are saying, even though it doesn't always sound like English. I think that may be why you're not actively increasing your vocabulary at the rate at which we wish you would. We enable you by giving you what you want when you grunt. ENABLE. This is a dirty word in many respects. And by mentioning it here, I can already see the therapist's office 15 years from now. "Ginna and Nels, you are ENABLING Hadley."
Even though you don't use specific words all the time, you are very expressive and make it pretty clear what you want. I've mentioned many times what an easy baby you are - you sleep well (most of the time), you eat well, you share well - you are a wonderful child. You even tell me when it's time for a bath and when you're ready to stop playing and crawl in your crib to go to sleep. Just the other night we were rocking in the chair, speaking quietly about the day, about your new pajamas, about Peef - and nothing in particular. All of a sudden you sat up, pointed at your crib and looked at me as if to say, "I am tired woman. Put me to bed and leave." It was pretty funny. So I put you down, kissed you good night and told you I loved you (very important steps that if skipped, you tell us we didn't do it right). As I shut the door behind me I realized that even though you don't use your words very often, you have never failed to communicate to us what you're thinking. There isn't a doubt in my mind that you are brilliant.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
You're very communicative though. Daddy and I know pretty much what you are saying, even though it doesn't always sound like English. I think that may be why you're not actively increasing your vocabulary at the rate at which we wish you would. We enable you by giving you what you want when you grunt. ENABLE. This is a dirty word in many respects. And by mentioning it here, I can already see the therapist's office 15 years from now. "Ginna and Nels, you are ENABLING Hadley."
Even though you don't use specific words all the time, you are very expressive and make it pretty clear what you want. I've mentioned many times what an easy baby you are - you sleep well (most of the time), you eat well, you share well - you are a wonderful child. You even tell me when it's time for a bath and when you're ready to stop playing and crawl in your crib to go to sleep. Just the other night we were rocking in the chair, speaking quietly about the day, about your new pajamas, about Peef - and nothing in particular. All of a sudden you sat up, pointed at your crib and looked at me as if to say, "I am tired woman. Put me to bed and leave." It was pretty funny. So I put you down, kissed you good night and told you I loved you (very important steps that if skipped, you tell us we didn't do it right). As I shut the door behind me I realized that even though you don't use your words very often, you have never failed to communicate to us what you're thinking. There isn't a doubt in my mind that you are brilliant.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Monday, September 15, 2008
So grown up!
GROWN UP OBSERVATION #1:
We were sitting on the patio with daddy and Aunt Ba on Friday afternoon. It was a beautiful day, and you wanted to ride your tricycle on the patio. It had been raining so your trike was leaking water all over the place. You're not a fan of messes - dirt on the ground, sticky fingers, dirty feet - all of these things bother you. So all of a sudden you stand up, open the patio door (by yourself), and walk inside. The three of us stop what we're talking about and look at the door trying to figure out what you were doing. All of a sudden we hear the cabinet door shut and it dawned on us - you were getting a paper towel to clean up the spilled water. And out you waddled, paper towel in hand. I have never shown you how to open the cabinet, where the paper towels are or when to use them. But apparently you're very observant.
GROWN UP OBSERVATION #2:
You were sitting at your craft table yesterday coloring with your crayons with daddy. I was making dinner watching you both play - one of my favorite things to do. You started coloring on the table - not the paper - and daddy gently said, "No No Hadly - paper only." To which you stood up from the table and walked to the corner and gave yourself a time-out. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I did a little of both.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
We were sitting on the patio with daddy and Aunt Ba on Friday afternoon. It was a beautiful day, and you wanted to ride your tricycle on the patio. It had been raining so your trike was leaking water all over the place. You're not a fan of messes - dirt on the ground, sticky fingers, dirty feet - all of these things bother you. So all of a sudden you stand up, open the patio door (by yourself), and walk inside. The three of us stop what we're talking about and look at the door trying to figure out what you were doing. All of a sudden we hear the cabinet door shut and it dawned on us - you were getting a paper towel to clean up the spilled water. And out you waddled, paper towel in hand. I have never shown you how to open the cabinet, where the paper towels are or when to use them. But apparently you're very observant.
GROWN UP OBSERVATION #2:
You were sitting at your craft table yesterday coloring with your crayons with daddy. I was making dinner watching you both play - one of my favorite things to do. You started coloring on the table - not the paper - and daddy gently said, "No No Hadly - paper only." To which you stood up from the table and walked to the corner and gave yourself a time-out. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I did a little of both.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Friday, September 12, 2008
Nineteen Months
I am so late this month. It's almost comical. This is what happens when your monthly birthday falls on a weekend. And this past weekend was a whirlwind. Daddy decided he wanted to build the Pergola over the new patio himself. But he needed help - and he wanted the advice of Andpa who apparently is a "master carpenter". So Andpa drove out from Minnesota, and brought your great Uncle Dick with him. Who also is apparently a "master carpenter." Before I go much further, I will say that the end result is gorgeous. But it wasn't without a little pain. These Larson men...they do a lot of talking. And standing around. And analyzing each other's work. And re-measuring. And not cutting. As your daddy likes to say: "It's all about the process." Yep - but it's a process I don't understand.
There's been so much going on in the world the last few weeks. I am worried about your future. I am worried about my future. Will we have enough money to retire? Will have enough money to send you to school? Will we always have health insurance? Will you have access to the best jobs when you're ready? Will the state of our environment cause you irreparable harm in any way? Hadley - it is of VITAL IMPORTANCE that the moment you turn 18 you register to vote. Your daddy and I sit here in agony waiting for the next 8 weeks to pass so we know if we need to move to Canada or not. I wish I were kidding. If John McCain and crazy Sarah Palin move into that White House instead of Barack Obama, I am terrified for what it means to our future. Gramps sent me an email today that summarizes the COMPLETE AND TOTAL INSANITY of this campaign and how completely crazy many of the residents of the US are - here it is:
I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....
If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.' (Obama)
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story. (Palin)
If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. (Obama)
Name your kids Willow , Trig and Track, you're a maverick. (Palin)
Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. (Obama)
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded. (Palin)
If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senaterepresenting a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience. (Obama)
If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive. (Palin)
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. (Obama)
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian. (McCain)
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. (Obama and any other reasonable Democrat)
If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible. (Palin)
If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's. (Obama)
If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA , your family is extremely admirable. (Palin)
OK, much clearer now.
You see, my beautiful, brilliant, independent, strong daughter - there are people out there (Republicans) who want to leave the future of this country in the hands of billionaire oil moguls. Men who could care less about the condition of the environment, the cost of health insurance, the cost of education, the lack of education actually taking place in US public schools, religious freedom...men who only care about tax breaks for the rich, religious freedom for radical Christians only, sending your future job overseas to save money, the right to arm convicted drug dealers with war-grade weapons on city streets, and reminding us just how little "freedom" Americans really have. As your mother, it is my complete and total responsibilty to raise a responsible, well educated and well informed child. I promise to try to not influence your personal political beliefs with mine (but you will have to listen to me for the rest of your life whether or not you agree with me). But I will require this of you: be informed. Make your decisions based on all the facts available to you. Don't follow a path because it is the easiest to follow. And don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Sometimes in life it will seem like you are standing alone in the dark. And sometimes you will be. And it's OK to be afraid in those moments. But my hope for you is that we raise you to know when to be strong and when to tolerate the dark long enough to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Here's to the light in 8 weeks.
"Not only will we have to repent for the sins of bad people; but we also will have to repent for the appalling silence of good people"
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
There's been so much going on in the world the last few weeks. I am worried about your future. I am worried about my future. Will we have enough money to retire? Will have enough money to send you to school? Will we always have health insurance? Will you have access to the best jobs when you're ready? Will the state of our environment cause you irreparable harm in any way? Hadley - it is of VITAL IMPORTANCE that the moment you turn 18 you register to vote. Your daddy and I sit here in agony waiting for the next 8 weeks to pass so we know if we need to move to Canada or not. I wish I were kidding. If John McCain and crazy Sarah Palin move into that White House instead of Barack Obama, I am terrified for what it means to our future. Gramps sent me an email today that summarizes the COMPLETE AND TOTAL INSANITY of this campaign and how completely crazy many of the residents of the US are - here it is:
I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....
If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.' (Obama)
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story. (Palin)
If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. (Obama)
Name your kids Willow , Trig and Track, you're a maverick. (Palin)
Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. (Obama)
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded. (Palin)
If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senaterepresenting a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience. (Obama)
If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive. (Palin)
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. (Obama)
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian. (McCain)
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. (Obama and any other reasonable Democrat)
If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible. (Palin)
If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's. (Obama)
If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA , your family is extremely admirable. (Palin)
OK, much clearer now.
You see, my beautiful, brilliant, independent, strong daughter - there are people out there (Republicans) who want to leave the future of this country in the hands of billionaire oil moguls. Men who could care less about the condition of the environment, the cost of health insurance, the cost of education, the lack of education actually taking place in US public schools, religious freedom...men who only care about tax breaks for the rich, religious freedom for radical Christians only, sending your future job overseas to save money, the right to arm convicted drug dealers with war-grade weapons on city streets, and reminding us just how little "freedom" Americans really have. As your mother, it is my complete and total responsibilty to raise a responsible, well educated and well informed child. I promise to try to not influence your personal political beliefs with mine (but you will have to listen to me for the rest of your life whether or not you agree with me). But I will require this of you: be informed. Make your decisions based on all the facts available to you. Don't follow a path because it is the easiest to follow. And don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Sometimes in life it will seem like you are standing alone in the dark. And sometimes you will be. And it's OK to be afraid in those moments. But my hope for you is that we raise you to know when to be strong and when to tolerate the dark long enough to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Here's to the light in 8 weeks.
"Not only will we have to repent for the sins of bad people; but we also will have to repent for the appalling silence of good people"
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
What's In a Name?
Names you currently go by (and answer to):
Hadley - obviously
Hads
HP
Hadley Bear
Baby Bear
Jelly Bean
Nugget
Nuggalita
Little Buddy
Angel Pie
Angel Face
Turbo
Turbo Nugget
Thunder (only your daddy calls you this one)
I think there may be more, but this is all I can recall at the moment......
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Friday, August 15, 2008
SHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
You wanna know a little secret? You're going to be a big sister. :-)
iloveyoumadly.
mama
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Eighteen Months
Oh my GOSH! How can you be 18 months old already? That is such a big milestone. It is funny how much can change in a month. I was just re-reading the last post and started laughing about the biting and kicking. It was all so new then..... Somehow we've adapted as it has become a part of daily life. Usually only the changing table now, though. :-)
Your vocab still hasn't changed much - you're stubborn and it's funny. We ask "Can you say CUP" and you nod. But you are getting much better at communicating your wants and needs. Just the other night you and I were on the couch rolling around (one of your favorite activities) and all of sudden you stopped and said - clear as day - "Bath?" You knew it was time to go upstairs. Truth be told, I was actually going to skip the bath that night, but since you asked up we went.
You also know when you're ready for bed now. We no longer sit in the rocker - instead we pull your pink blanket down on the floor and we read a little, play a little...and now you point to your crib when you're ready to lie down. It's so easy!
Nana arrives tonight. She is staying with you this weekend because Daddy and I have to go to Salt Lake City for work. So tonight - in honor of your "half" birthday - we are having super special monkey cupcakes from Whole Foods. Your Mama sure must love you.
iloveyouMADLY.
mama
Friday, July 18, 2008
Seventeen Months
You'll notice I am a few days late.... with good reason. We were on vacation last week when you turned 17 months old! We were in Minnesota visiting Grandma and Andpa, and Nana and Papa. You had so much fun. It was an interesting week for us all as a family, as it has been a while since we had all been together 24-7. Needless to say, by the end of the 10 day trip I think all three of us needed a break from each other.
You didn't sleep so well - I think that might have been the issue. We all had to sleep in the same room at Nana's house, and you would wake up every night at 3:00 a.m., realize we were sleeping right next to you, and want to play. So every night we were up together (OK - let's get real: you and I were up together) from 3:00 to 5:00 a.m. It was great to earn all those points in the snuggling department, but you're somewhat of a restless sleeper.
Your vocabulary EXPLODED while we were away. You learned to say "Daisy" (Nana and Papa's dog), "Nana", "toast" and one other word I can't remember..... oh. Right. You learned "Oh Shit." We'll leave it at that for now.
17 months seems have brought a little terrible-twos precurser, as well. You're a little too into hurting your daddy and me. Punching, hitting, kicking, biting - these are all part of your reperatoire. So is the "Time Out" corner. I am not really sure you grasp the concept of a time-out, but since neither of us really know how to punish you for hurting us, this seems to be the best solution. It's actually kind of funny - you just sit there with your hands in your lap, sometimes you play with your feet, but really you just sit and stare at the wall until we tell you it's OK to get up.
I am thrilled and excited about how fast you're growing up. And yet all I want to do is put you in a little jar to keep you where you are. Every new phase brings such great rewards, and yet I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad to see my baby grow up. You are such a precious gift. Biting and all.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Friday, June 27, 2008
Quick Release
Apparently the fear of being left alone at school has subsided for you. I dropped you off on Wednesday, and for the first time since you started in the Tod I room you didn't cry. In fact, you looked at me and waved good bye - as if to say, "It's time for you to go Mommy." I took my cue and left. I MADE IT THROUGH MY FIRST ROUND OF SEPARATION ANXIETY. Go team!
iloveyoumadly.
mama
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Make Believe....
I picked you up at school the other day - daddy was out of town for work. I found you in the Tod II room with Rachelle and Kashia, and you were in the play kitchen. Aside from the SAND THAT WAS ALL OVER YOUR FACE (I swear you exist on sand pies), you had a phone resting on your shoulder as you pulled something out of the oven on a tray. It didn't even phase you that I walked into the room - you saw me, smiled and continued on with your domestic duties. It killed me. So the very next day, I went out and bought you a kitchen of your very own for our house. :-) Nothing is too good for my baby bear.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Monday, June 9, 2008
Sixteen Months
You'll note by the date that this is a bit late this month. I apologize. Our internet was out at home this weekend so I didn't get to write you my letter on your actual birthday. Somehow I doubt you will care years from now as you read this...
It's been a crazy month. You are well adjusted in your new room at school, with a few exceptions:
Exception #1: since you spend a majority of your day outside in the sandbox, you have developed a lovely rash on your bottom from the CRAPLOAD OF SAND that accumulates in your diaper. Did I mention the CRAPLOAD OF SAND that comes home with you everyday? I think I washed your sheet 5 times last week alone. Anyway - it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, so I am taking you to see Dr. Cohen this afternoon to see what he thinks we should do about it.
Exception #2: you have a frenemy at school. And it happens to be the daughter of a mother I don't like very much. I wonder if they're connected in some way? Maybe I've secretly put my feelings for this mother on you, and in turn she lashes out? To make a long story short, this lovely little girl seems to think you taste good. So she bites you. A lot. Your daddy and I were very worried about this, as your behavior seemed to change last week when you received YOUR THIRD BITE IN TWO WEEKS!! You became very afraid of getting hurt. And you repeatedly showed us your arm where she bit you. I was all ready to pull you out of school, as any normal over-reactive parent would do, when I received a call from Andrea (the director of your school). She assured me that this is not affecting your behavior at school, and other than getting pissed when she bites you, you seem totally unaffected. And she giggled when I told her about you showing us your arm and pouting. She said you have us wrapped around your finger......
Summer is in full swing. You absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE to be outside. You've learned to drink from the hose, run through the sprinkler, eat watermelon slices and bend over to smell the flowers in our front yard. Oh - and this weekend we took you to Boulder Res to build sandcastles and play in the water. YOU LOVED IT!!! I think we'll spend lots of time there in the coming months.
I know I say this a lot, but I really do have so much fun being your mama. You are such a good baby - so full of life and love. I couldn't ask for anything more. Just thinking about you now makes me swell with pride. Thank you so much for choosing me.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tree Hugger!
We were at the Lindenmeyer's the other day just to visit. We were in their backyard and you walked up to this huge tree and gave it a hug! I so wish I had my camera. You were fascinated by it, especially the bark. It dawned on me that this might be new to you....seeing as how we have no trees in our yard. What kind of BoulderMama am I?
iloveyoumadly.
mama
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Thursday, May 15, 2008
No Longer a Baby...
You moved into the Toddler room today at school. It is such a big moment for you! You are now only going to nap once a day (God help me and daddy!) - and you don't have a crib...just a bedroll! When I dropped you off this morning you saw your little buddy, Neva. You and Neva were the best of friends in the Infant room. You saw her right away, smiled so big and opened your arms to give her a hug. It brought tears to Elizabeth's eyes (Elizabeth and Barbara are your new teachers).
You seemed quite at home in your new room - they have such cool toys. You will get to spend your afternoons outside on the playground, and you no longer have to sit in a highchair - they have little booster seats at the table for your lunch and snacks. Oh! I forgot to mention that I bought you a lunchbox yesterday. It is adorable. I chose to avoid Barbie or Dora the Explorer - that's not your (read: my) style. So you got a super cool tie-dye and flower lunch box. Much more you. :-)
As I kissed you goodbye and walked out the door, I realized that my little baby is...no longer a baby. And I cried.
Iloveyoumadly.
mama
You seemed quite at home in your new room - they have such cool toys. You will get to spend your afternoons outside on the playground, and you no longer have to sit in a highchair - they have little booster seats at the table for your lunch and snacks. Oh! I forgot to mention that I bought you a lunchbox yesterday. It is adorable. I chose to avoid Barbie or Dora the Explorer - that's not your (read: my) style. So you got a super cool tie-dye and flower lunch box. Much more you. :-)
As I kissed you goodbye and walked out the door, I realized that my little baby is...no longer a baby. And I cried.
Iloveyoumadly.
mama
Monday, May 12, 2008
Mother's Day
Yesterday was my second Mother's Day. It was with great pride that I wandered around the Flagstaff House holding your hand.
You are the best reason in the world to celebrate this Holiday. You are my daughter. You are my everything. I love you.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Fifteen Months
Happy 15-month birthday, my sweet Baby Toad.
Days around here sure are getting more and more fun! You are such a precious little person. I have become somewhat addicted to what is being referred to in the media as "Mommy Bloggers" - these are public posts by other moms that talk about their lives, their children's lives and all the adventures that go therein. Some are good, some are kind of mundane (much like mine would probably be to someone else if I ever allowed public access to this site). But all of them share one thing in common: this isn't an easy job - but it is a job none of us would ever give back.
You are somewhat of a Daddy's Girl. And by this, I mean you seem to want to impress him or be held by him or want to be where he is more than with me. And that's OK - I love how much you two love each other. And sometimes I admit that I get a little sad as I think it somehow shows me a glimpse of our future as mother and daughter. But really, when it comes down to it, you are my little buddy. You are - at least so far - an almost CLONE of me. Minus your dad's feet and eyes. But you talk in your sleep like me (ask daddy someday about some of the things that come out of my mouth at night), you look almost exactly like I did at your age, you have magic toes (quite possibly my most favorite of all your gorgeous body parts), and I am next to positive that you are inheriting my allergies. There are so many other similarities that sometimes take my breath away...maybe I'll add more to the list later.
Your Grammy and Gramps were here this past weekend - it was so fun. You LOVE your Gramps. I'm tellin' ya - you two are little peas in a pod. I have never seen anything so cute. But again, I missed the photo ops and didn't take any pictures. D'oh! Your Grammy said to me in passing on their last day, "I don't know how you do it." And I asked what she was referring to. To sum up everything she said, it was basically - "I don't know how you are able to be such a great sister, such a great wife and an amazing mom - all while working full-time." She didn't work while raising Christian. My response was something like, "I am lucky to have such a great family." But you know what else is in there? You. You are so amazing, and easy to be with and around .... and raise. You actually make me think I know what the hell I'm doing. (And your Daddy is amazing, but this post is about you and me). I hear and read about all these moms that struggle through the early years as their children throw tantrums, and challenge everything - and I don't get that with you. Don't get me wrong - you have your moments where I wonder where my baby went as I look at the screaming alien that replaced you - but overall you make me a good mom.
Every parent thinks their child is the most beautiful child on the planet. It's biologically impossible for us not to feel this way. For God's sake - we made you out of our own flesh and blood! (Someday that will amaze you as much as it now amazes me). But really - you are the most beautiful child on the planet. In everyway possible, your beauty takes my breath away.
You will stay this beautiful to me always.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Days around here sure are getting more and more fun! You are such a precious little person. I have become somewhat addicted to what is being referred to in the media as "Mommy Bloggers" - these are public posts by other moms that talk about their lives, their children's lives and all the adventures that go therein. Some are good, some are kind of mundane (much like mine would probably be to someone else if I ever allowed public access to this site). But all of them share one thing in common: this isn't an easy job - but it is a job none of us would ever give back.
You are somewhat of a Daddy's Girl. And by this, I mean you seem to want to impress him or be held by him or want to be where he is more than with me. And that's OK - I love how much you two love each other. And sometimes I admit that I get a little sad as I think it somehow shows me a glimpse of our future as mother and daughter. But really, when it comes down to it, you are my little buddy. You are - at least so far - an almost CLONE of me. Minus your dad's feet and eyes. But you talk in your sleep like me (ask daddy someday about some of the things that come out of my mouth at night), you look almost exactly like I did at your age, you have magic toes (quite possibly my most favorite of all your gorgeous body parts), and I am next to positive that you are inheriting my allergies. There are so many other similarities that sometimes take my breath away...maybe I'll add more to the list later.
Your Grammy and Gramps were here this past weekend - it was so fun. You LOVE your Gramps. I'm tellin' ya - you two are little peas in a pod. I have never seen anything so cute. But again, I missed the photo ops and didn't take any pictures. D'oh! Your Grammy said to me in passing on their last day, "I don't know how you do it." And I asked what she was referring to. To sum up everything she said, it was basically - "I don't know how you are able to be such a great sister, such a great wife and an amazing mom - all while working full-time." She didn't work while raising Christian. My response was something like, "I am lucky to have such a great family." But you know what else is in there? You. You are so amazing, and easy to be with and around .... and raise. You actually make me think I know what the hell I'm doing. (And your Daddy is amazing, but this post is about you and me). I hear and read about all these moms that struggle through the early years as their children throw tantrums, and challenge everything - and I don't get that with you. Don't get me wrong - you have your moments where I wonder where my baby went as I look at the screaming alien that replaced you - but overall you make me a good mom.
Every parent thinks their child is the most beautiful child on the planet. It's biologically impossible for us not to feel this way. For God's sake - we made you out of our own flesh and blood! (Someday that will amaze you as much as it now amazes me). But really - you are the most beautiful child on the planet. In everyway possible, your beauty takes my breath away.
You will stay this beautiful to me always.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Friday, May 2, 2008
How We Met You
Much like the letter Gramps wrote to you after you were born, Nanna wrote me this letter so that I could never forget the amazing experience that was your birth.
February 16, 2007
My dear Ginna,
I have been thinking about my time with you and I hope it is alright if I share some of my thoughts and memories.
When you and Becca were born, I knew the greatest love a woman could ever experience, or so I thought. Being able to experience Hadley’s birth with you made me love you both at an even deeper level, and I now know another love, one that is so profound, it is difficult to describe.
When you, Mom and I shared a meal when you were in northern Minnesota this past year, you remarked, “Just think, Mom, I was once growing inside you and you were once growing inside Nonny.” That was quite a moment of reflection for me as I watched you carry your precious daughter for the past nine months. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your feelings, emotions and experiences with me. It is unbelievable to watch your daughter grow up, become a successful businesswoman, a loving wife and now an exceptional mother. You handled this pregnancy, difficulties and all, with the greatest of poise and calm. You knew what you had to do to keep your baby safe and secure until her birth sometime in the month of February. You and Nels were very well educated about what your body was experiencing, and this removed even the smallest bit of apprehension about the magic, mystery and miracle of birth. I applaud you both for taking your job so seriously.
I arrived in Boulder on Sunday afternoon and Becca and I went directly to your house where you and Nels were preparing to go to the hospital, as you were being induced the very next morning. The excitement we all felt about what was about to take place was absolutely electric! I wept. Monday morning arrived and you waited for the process to begin. Once underway, you waited patiently, reviewing with Nels how you were going to help expedite the arrival of your daughter. You had the most wonderful nurse, Jackie, with you, who made the day very special, indeed. Once the contractions began, you went to work. Your breathing was natural, easy and confident. Nels was extraordinary with his coaching and support. Becca and I just watched and marveled at you both, and of course a little solitaire was thrown in too. Sitting by your bed as you experienced the beginning of this miracle, pouring all my love out to you and your daughter was a life-altering experience. I wept. Toward the end of Monday, you had dilated to four centimeters and we felt that progress was really being made. Alas, Jackie and Dr. Jones felt that you had worked hard enough for one day and perhaps it would be better to rest, eat and try again on Tuesday. So, with a degree of disappointment, you agreed. Sleep wasn’t the best, of course, as you were continually awakened by the night nurse who kept checking on your blood pressure.
Tuesday arrived with another sense of great excitement and determination. Today was going to be the day to say “hello” to Hadley. Maya was your nurse today and she was also quite wonderful and reassuring. You were hooked up again, and once again the contractions began. You and Nels were determined to do more to help little Hadley arrive, so you walked the halls, rocked more on the ball and concentrated on the job at hand. I watched the love you shared at that moment and reflected on the love you were going to soon acknowledge, and I wept. Once again, it appeared that Tuesday wasn’t the day either. You resigned that a hot bath, dinner, and another night of sleep would be beneficial as you had been working very hard again that day. So off I went to your house and the cats for another night of prayer and gratitude.
Nels called Wednesday morning to tell me that your water had broken between 2:00 and 2:30 during the night. This was fabulous news, as we had started to think that your fervent desire to deliver Hadley rather than have a C-section was not going to come to pass. So, with renewed determination, the day began. When I arrived at the hospital, you told me that you had talked to Hadley while in the shower that morning and had told her that no matter what the delivery outcome, you promised her she would be safe and protected. I was so deeply proud of you, awed by your composure, and inspired by the motherly love you shared with your unborn daughter, and so I wept. So Wednesday progressed, once again with dear Jackie and we were grateful. Dr. Jones had told you that one way or another, your baby would be born that day. You were comfortable with any decision, but still very determined to try to do it your way. So, we walked the halls again, listened to the lullaby play as new mothers and their babies were moved to the “Mommy and Baby” wing, and you labored and worked. Labor was significantly more intense today. Your training really came into play as the contractions became more intense and uncomfortable. You hit your zone and audibly breathed you baby down into the birth canal. It was about 4:30 p.m. when you told Nels you didn’t think you could do this anymore, as it was painful and tiring. He reminded you that you had decided to give it another 45 minutes once you had reached this point. Your will was strong but so was your discomfort. Nels went to tell Jackie that perhaps it was time to speak to the anesthesiologist. So he came and administered the medication. This seemed to relax you significantly and make the work to come less intense. Suddenly, you said, “Mom the pressure is unbelievable.” When I asked you where you were feeling this pressure and you told me, I went for Jackie. She came, measured you, and said, “You are fully dilated!” I wish I could have had a camera to capture the look you both had on your faces. It was a combination of shock and wild anticipation. This was really going to happen today! Suddenly there was a flurry of activity as you got into position, saw Dr. Jones, held on to Nels and began to push. The time was 5:30. Chris, who had arrived earlier that day, and I left you alone to do your work. We couldn’t go far, however, as this was quite probably the most excitingly wonderful moment either of us could recall. We walked the halls, called Tom and Bob and Becca and Jo and Sonja, and we waited. And we wept. The hospital staff paraded in and out of your room, always leaving the door ajar so we could hear the progress of this magnificent delivery. At 6:32, Hadley was born and your first words were, “Oh, Hello!” I wept. Becca flew through the doors, ran to us as we held our collective breath awaiting her first cry. It came, loud and strong, and we all wept. It seemed forever before we could come in and meet her ourselves and hug and love our precious children, her parents. Nels brought out his camera to show us her first pictures, taken when she was only seconds old. She was spectacular! Finally it was time to come in and meet her.
She was swaddled tightly, eyes wide open, precious little mouth pursed and ready for her life in this world. The feeling I had at that moment was so profoundly spiritual and I wept. I couldn’t wait to embrace you, praise you, and welcome you to this wonderful world of motherhood. Finally you knew how very much I love you.
Ginna, thank you for sharing your journey with me. You may never know the impact it has had on me until you can share the same experience with your own daughter. We have always known God and believed in the miracle of life. Yet, once you experience the privilege of giving birth yourself, it takes on new meaning. As you examine Hadley’s eyes, ears, and every other aspect of her body and when you see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her call you “Mommy, “ and watch her grow into the beautiful and spectacular woman she will obviously become, remember I shared the same experience with you and Becca and I continue to marvel at the perfection in you both.
I love you madly with all my heart.
Mom
February 16, 2007
My dear Ginna,
I have been thinking about my time with you and I hope it is alright if I share some of my thoughts and memories.
When you and Becca were born, I knew the greatest love a woman could ever experience, or so I thought. Being able to experience Hadley’s birth with you made me love you both at an even deeper level, and I now know another love, one that is so profound, it is difficult to describe.
When you, Mom and I shared a meal when you were in northern Minnesota this past year, you remarked, “Just think, Mom, I was once growing inside you and you were once growing inside Nonny.” That was quite a moment of reflection for me as I watched you carry your precious daughter for the past nine months. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your feelings, emotions and experiences with me. It is unbelievable to watch your daughter grow up, become a successful businesswoman, a loving wife and now an exceptional mother. You handled this pregnancy, difficulties and all, with the greatest of poise and calm. You knew what you had to do to keep your baby safe and secure until her birth sometime in the month of February. You and Nels were very well educated about what your body was experiencing, and this removed even the smallest bit of apprehension about the magic, mystery and miracle of birth. I applaud you both for taking your job so seriously.
I arrived in Boulder on Sunday afternoon and Becca and I went directly to your house where you and Nels were preparing to go to the hospital, as you were being induced the very next morning. The excitement we all felt about what was about to take place was absolutely electric! I wept. Monday morning arrived and you waited for the process to begin. Once underway, you waited patiently, reviewing with Nels how you were going to help expedite the arrival of your daughter. You had the most wonderful nurse, Jackie, with you, who made the day very special, indeed. Once the contractions began, you went to work. Your breathing was natural, easy and confident. Nels was extraordinary with his coaching and support. Becca and I just watched and marveled at you both, and of course a little solitaire was thrown in too. Sitting by your bed as you experienced the beginning of this miracle, pouring all my love out to you and your daughter was a life-altering experience. I wept. Toward the end of Monday, you had dilated to four centimeters and we felt that progress was really being made. Alas, Jackie and Dr. Jones felt that you had worked hard enough for one day and perhaps it would be better to rest, eat and try again on Tuesday. So, with a degree of disappointment, you agreed. Sleep wasn’t the best, of course, as you were continually awakened by the night nurse who kept checking on your blood pressure.
Tuesday arrived with another sense of great excitement and determination. Today was going to be the day to say “hello” to Hadley. Maya was your nurse today and she was also quite wonderful and reassuring. You were hooked up again, and once again the contractions began. You and Nels were determined to do more to help little Hadley arrive, so you walked the halls, rocked more on the ball and concentrated on the job at hand. I watched the love you shared at that moment and reflected on the love you were going to soon acknowledge, and I wept. Once again, it appeared that Tuesday wasn’t the day either. You resigned that a hot bath, dinner, and another night of sleep would be beneficial as you had been working very hard again that day. So off I went to your house and the cats for another night of prayer and gratitude.
Nels called Wednesday morning to tell me that your water had broken between 2:00 and 2:30 during the night. This was fabulous news, as we had started to think that your fervent desire to deliver Hadley rather than have a C-section was not going to come to pass. So, with renewed determination, the day began. When I arrived at the hospital, you told me that you had talked to Hadley while in the shower that morning and had told her that no matter what the delivery outcome, you promised her she would be safe and protected. I was so deeply proud of you, awed by your composure, and inspired by the motherly love you shared with your unborn daughter, and so I wept. So Wednesday progressed, once again with dear Jackie and we were grateful. Dr. Jones had told you that one way or another, your baby would be born that day. You were comfortable with any decision, but still very determined to try to do it your way. So, we walked the halls again, listened to the lullaby play as new mothers and their babies were moved to the “Mommy and Baby” wing, and you labored and worked. Labor was significantly more intense today. Your training really came into play as the contractions became more intense and uncomfortable. You hit your zone and audibly breathed you baby down into the birth canal. It was about 4:30 p.m. when you told Nels you didn’t think you could do this anymore, as it was painful and tiring. He reminded you that you had decided to give it another 45 minutes once you had reached this point. Your will was strong but so was your discomfort. Nels went to tell Jackie that perhaps it was time to speak to the anesthesiologist. So he came and administered the medication. This seemed to relax you significantly and make the work to come less intense. Suddenly, you said, “Mom the pressure is unbelievable.” When I asked you where you were feeling this pressure and you told me, I went for Jackie. She came, measured you, and said, “You are fully dilated!” I wish I could have had a camera to capture the look you both had on your faces. It was a combination of shock and wild anticipation. This was really going to happen today! Suddenly there was a flurry of activity as you got into position, saw Dr. Jones, held on to Nels and began to push. The time was 5:30. Chris, who had arrived earlier that day, and I left you alone to do your work. We couldn’t go far, however, as this was quite probably the most excitingly wonderful moment either of us could recall. We walked the halls, called Tom and Bob and Becca and Jo and Sonja, and we waited. And we wept. The hospital staff paraded in and out of your room, always leaving the door ajar so we could hear the progress of this magnificent delivery. At 6:32, Hadley was born and your first words were, “Oh, Hello!” I wept. Becca flew through the doors, ran to us as we held our collective breath awaiting her first cry. It came, loud and strong, and we all wept. It seemed forever before we could come in and meet her ourselves and hug and love our precious children, her parents. Nels brought out his camera to show us her first pictures, taken when she was only seconds old. She was spectacular! Finally it was time to come in and meet her.
She was swaddled tightly, eyes wide open, precious little mouth pursed and ready for her life in this world. The feeling I had at that moment was so profoundly spiritual and I wept. I couldn’t wait to embrace you, praise you, and welcome you to this wonderful world of motherhood. Finally you knew how very much I love you.
Ginna, thank you for sharing your journey with me. You may never know the impact it has had on me until you can share the same experience with your own daughter. We have always known God and believed in the miracle of life. Yet, once you experience the privilege of giving birth yourself, it takes on new meaning. As you examine Hadley’s eyes, ears, and every other aspect of her body and when you see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her call you “Mommy, “ and watch her grow into the beautiful and spectacular woman she will obviously become, remember I shared the same experience with you and Becca and I continue to marvel at the perfection in you both.
I love you madly with all my heart.
Mom
Thursday, May 1, 2008
My Little Boulder Baby
Top 10 Reasons Why You Belong in Boulder:
10. You LOVE big dogs - the bigger the better
9. You think a hat makes any outfit
8. You prefer barefeet to socks & shoes
7. You have yet to get get your hair cut
6. You love live music
5. You think the Coyotes howling is neat, not scary
4. You love the taste of granola
3. You love the tulips on Pearl Street
2. You already own a bicycle helmet
...and
1. You already know how to recycle
I am so proud. :-)
10. You LOVE big dogs - the bigger the better
9. You think a hat makes any outfit
8. You prefer barefeet to socks & shoes
7. You have yet to get get your hair cut
6. You love live music
5. You think the Coyotes howling is neat, not scary
4. You love the taste of granola
3. You love the tulips on Pearl Street
2. You already own a bicycle helmet
...and
1. You already know how to recycle
I am so proud. :-)
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Fourteen Months
You turned 14 months old yesterday. I would have posted then, but we were home together suffering through your first ear infection - and you wouldn't let me near the computer. :-)
So you are officially walking all the time now. It was strange - a week ago I was following you with my arms in an imaginary circle around you - just waiting for you to fall. Now, I just plunk you down in the middle of the room and off you go! I am so proud.
Now we just need to work on your conversation skills.... You talk all the time - and I love it. But here is how a typical conversation with you goes:
HADLEY: "da DAT!"
MOM or DAD: "Yes - that's the kitty."
HADLEY: "da da da dada dat"
MOM or DAD: "Yes - daddy is over there"
HADLEY: "ma ma ma MAMAAAAAAH!!!"
Translation: "PICK ME UP RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DIE!"
Iloveyoumadly.
mama
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thirteen Months
You are Thirteen Months old today. You are turning into quite an amazing little girl. In the last week you've taken your 1st steps, graduated into the big girl tub and decided that you will only drink milk if it is presented to you in a freshly warmed Avent bottle.
I love every second of every day that I am your mama.
I think these next few months will be such a grand adventure! I was telling your aunt Sonja the other day that I used to chuckle at her stories of how Sophie had such challenging personality traits...and now God is laughing at me. I think if you released an album right now, it might be titled "I Just Learned The World Revolves Around Me." Or maybe, "I'm One, I'm Perfect - Give Me That, It's Mine."
Iloveyoumadly.
mama
Monday, February 25, 2008
Gramps
I found this email today in my inbox. Gramps wrote this the day I went into the Hospital to have you:
"My Dearest Hadley: I am so excited you are finally almost here. Your mommy has had a long 9 months but has been so positive and loving that you must have felt it as you were growing inside her.Your mommy and daddy have been very busy getting ready for you and have had fun preparing for a life with you. You are very lucky to have such a big family who will love you and cherish your every move!! You may even get a little spoiled at times, but your mommy and daddy will see it doesn't get too bad.I can't wait to see your pretty face and your cute smile--Love you--- Your Proud Gramps"
I thought you might like to read that. :-)
Iloveyoumadly.
mama
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Happy 1st Birthday!
My sweet Hadley P -
today is your 1st birthday. I am waiting for you to wake up so I can sing you your first "Happy Birthday" song. Nanna and Poppa are flying in today so they can spend this special weekend with you, and we have a fun party planned for Saturday with lots of fun people - including your godfather, David - who is coming in from Chicago! What a special girl you must be to have this many people want to be with you on your big day.
I am amazed at how fast this year has gone. I remember the day you were born so clearly. You came into the world so calm, so quiet - and you have stayed my precious, sweet, calm little girl. I am so excited to see what this next year brings us. Everyday you amaze me with what you learn and how you grow. I am so proud to be your mama.
Happy birthday, precious girl.
iloveyoumadly.
mama
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Toy Stealer
I think I may have mentioned this before.... but you are an incredibly loving, affectionate and even-tempered little girl. It is wonderful - and one of the reasons why people love to spend time with you. In fact, your teachers at TinyMinders - Marina and Helen - actually fight over who gets to hug you first in the morning. It's precious (and makes me feel so good as a mom!)
There is another attribute you have - though funny - is probably not the thing I am most proud of: you are a toy stealer. You have the will of one thousand mountains - which one day will be very useful as you are negotiating multi-billion dollar deals with foreign nationals (or as you negotiate the boarder-cross track at the 2025 Winter Olympics - either one is fine by me!). But as an 11 month old, this strong will comes out with other babies as you try to steal their toys. No matter what the other babies are playing with, you seem to think it is more interesting than whatever you've got going on, and you rip it right out of their chubby little hands. Your daddy and I have discussed this with you a few times now, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. One of the saddest things about this is that you have a reputation for this behavior at school. Even the director knows that little Hadley Larson is a toy stealer! Ahhhh - the pride.
Considering all the other amazingly wonderful attributes you have, I am not going to lose a lot of sleep over this. However, it has me thinking maybe you need a little brother or sister soon so you learn how to share....
i love you madly.
mama
There is another attribute you have - though funny - is probably not the thing I am most proud of: you are a toy stealer. You have the will of one thousand mountains - which one day will be very useful as you are negotiating multi-billion dollar deals with foreign nationals (or as you negotiate the boarder-cross track at the 2025 Winter Olympics - either one is fine by me!). But as an 11 month old, this strong will comes out with other babies as you try to steal their toys. No matter what the other babies are playing with, you seem to think it is more interesting than whatever you've got going on, and you rip it right out of their chubby little hands. Your daddy and I have discussed this with you a few times now, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. One of the saddest things about this is that you have a reputation for this behavior at school. Even the director knows that little Hadley Larson is a toy stealer! Ahhhh - the pride.
Considering all the other amazingly wonderful attributes you have, I am not going to lose a lot of sleep over this. However, it has me thinking maybe you need a little brother or sister soon so you learn how to share....
i love you madly.
mama
Thursday, January 17, 2008
1st Letter
To my beautiful HP -
I have been asked by your Nanna and Nonny to keep a running journal of my thoughts on your life, on my life with you, and every observation inbetween. Here you are exactly three weeks away from turning one, and I am only just starting this process. I thought about keeping a hand-written journal - a little more authentic and historical; I thought about creating a webpage - but that seems like a lot of work; and then I thought a Blog might be the best answer. This one is intended for you to read one day - when you are ready to hear about how much I love you....which may not be until you have a baby of your own! We'll see...in the meantime, these are my thoughts to you and you alone.
I am completely and totally consumed by my love for you. You and your daddy are my entire world. Even now, as I sit here at my computer (at work - shhhh!) I am tearing up just thinking about how much I love you. Someday - when you're a mom - you will understand this.
Before we knew if you were going to be a girl or a boy (and yes, we found out because we were just too excited to wait!) I thought for sure I wanted a boy first. I think this is because of your adorable Uncle C Bones. I was 16 when he was born, so he was the first baby I really ever loved and cared for. And Oh What FUN he was as a little boy. But when we found out you were a baby girl (and ask me about daddy's reaction to that ultrasound some day) my thoughts automatically shifted, and it was as if it could have never been any other option. You were my daughter from that day forward, and I have loved you more every minute of every day since.
You are an incredibly bright, independent and loving little girl. You have always been advanced in your development - in all areas except teeth. For some reason, you didn't get your first teeth until you were 9 months old! I was seriously ready to take you into the dentist for x-rays just to confirm that you had them. You come from a long line of beautiful teeth, so this was an area that was of great importance to me. :-) You have a great little giggle, even though you didn't share it with us until you were about 7 months old - and even then, we need original material every time. You're no dummy - it's only funny once, apparently. And then there are your kisses - man oh man are you a cute little kisser. Full-open-mouth-with-tongue-kisses. And I love every single one of them, wet and sticky as they are. And you take your little cherub hands and place them on either side of my face as you kiss me. I can only guess that you have learned this from me - I can't keep my hands off of you!
We are getting ready for you to walk any day now. (You look like a little drunken midget right now - pushing anything that slides in front of you for support). Once that happens, I have a feeling I will spend the rest of my days on this planet chasing after you. The only time you ever seem to really need me is when you are extremely tired or sick - then, and only then, do you ever say "mama" and it is usually through an onslaught of crocodile tears. I would never tell your daddy, but I love that I am the only one you want when you're upset. It's our little secret now.
So here represents the first of many letters I will write to you. The first few may be a bit jumbled as I try to cram the last 11 months into a few paragraphs. But once we get caught up, it will be a place for me to write down my observations - whether they be daily, monthly or...every 11 months!!
I love you madly.
mama
I have been asked by your Nanna and Nonny to keep a running journal of my thoughts on your life, on my life with you, and every observation inbetween. Here you are exactly three weeks away from turning one, and I am only just starting this process. I thought about keeping a hand-written journal - a little more authentic and historical; I thought about creating a webpage - but that seems like a lot of work; and then I thought a Blog might be the best answer. This one is intended for you to read one day - when you are ready to hear about how much I love you....which may not be until you have a baby of your own! We'll see...in the meantime, these are my thoughts to you and you alone.
I am completely and totally consumed by my love for you. You and your daddy are my entire world. Even now, as I sit here at my computer (at work - shhhh!) I am tearing up just thinking about how much I love you. Someday - when you're a mom - you will understand this.
Before we knew if you were going to be a girl or a boy (and yes, we found out because we were just too excited to wait!) I thought for sure I wanted a boy first. I think this is because of your adorable Uncle C Bones. I was 16 when he was born, so he was the first baby I really ever loved and cared for. And Oh What FUN he was as a little boy. But when we found out you were a baby girl (and ask me about daddy's reaction to that ultrasound some day) my thoughts automatically shifted, and it was as if it could have never been any other option. You were my daughter from that day forward, and I have loved you more every minute of every day since.
You are an incredibly bright, independent and loving little girl. You have always been advanced in your development - in all areas except teeth. For some reason, you didn't get your first teeth until you were 9 months old! I was seriously ready to take you into the dentist for x-rays just to confirm that you had them. You come from a long line of beautiful teeth, so this was an area that was of great importance to me. :-) You have a great little giggle, even though you didn't share it with us until you were about 7 months old - and even then, we need original material every time. You're no dummy - it's only funny once, apparently. And then there are your kisses - man oh man are you a cute little kisser. Full-open-mouth-with-tongue-kisses. And I love every single one of them, wet and sticky as they are. And you take your little cherub hands and place them on either side of my face as you kiss me. I can only guess that you have learned this from me - I can't keep my hands off of you!
We are getting ready for you to walk any day now. (You look like a little drunken midget right now - pushing anything that slides in front of you for support). Once that happens, I have a feeling I will spend the rest of my days on this planet chasing after you. The only time you ever seem to really need me is when you are extremely tired or sick - then, and only then, do you ever say "mama" and it is usually through an onslaught of crocodile tears. I would never tell your daddy, but I love that I am the only one you want when you're upset. It's our little secret now.
So here represents the first of many letters I will write to you. The first few may be a bit jumbled as I try to cram the last 11 months into a few paragraphs. But once we get caught up, it will be a place for me to write down my observations - whether they be daily, monthly or...every 11 months!!
I love you madly.
mama
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